My First Bangla Poem

I was fortunate enough to get this poem published at :
"Sristi Saptahik", Issue 1, October 2005
[Click Here for Sristi Saptahik homepage]

Swarming For Spring Fest

Heard of Swarming or Swarm Intelligence? In technical terms, it is the study of collective behaviour in decentralized, self-organised, systems. Sounds boring??? Well in non-technical terms it means “I’ve a sister for your mother”, i.e. to solve a demanding problem#1 you create another problem#2 of less magnitude. These two problems love each other so much, that it doesn’t create much of a problem for you. One of the successful swarm intelligence techniques currently in existence is Ant Colony Optimization which basically finds good path through graphs.

Alike every engineering colleges in India, we too have our youth festival, Spring Fest, and fortunately it’s the largest of its kind at eastern India and draws a lot of pretty gals (This non technical paper is not bothered about the rest). But we have a small problem out here.

Imagine for a moment that you are an IIT Kharagpur guy, in brief an IITian. And you want a pretty sexy gal, for different purposes (depends on the guy). You have just found somebody eligible enough that you want to keep in touch with or whatever. And before heading back you, put Ant Rule #1 into action. These rules are strictly based on Ant Colony Optimization Algorithm.

Ant Rule #1: If you find somebody eligible you must mark the gal with a scent before heading back. Simple rule - right? Now this scent can be her mobile number, or her outlook or her perfume (for amateurs). So you leave a tiny drop to "mark the hot jackpot".

Once back at the hostel room you unload your loot and head out again to find more gals. Now as an IITian you really don't have to apply massive mental calculation necessary to remember where you found the gal.

Ant Rule #2 steps in.

Ant Rule #2: Head in the direction of the strongest scent from any "My gal" - marker. Simple rule - right?

So you head in the direction of the strongest scent. It isn't the maker you left yourself, but apparently some of the other guys found that gal closer to their hostel (So here, RK-RP finds an advantage over PAN loop guys). Or maybe there were more gals available, so more guys have visited and left more markers.

Anyway, you head for the gal, leave a marker, head back to the hostel, and then head back out again. But this time there is no gal left with the marker, and you can't pick up the scent from other markers. Big problem, isn’t it??? Don’t worry.

Ant Rule #3 steps in.

Ant Rule #3: If you don't know where the gal is, just start walking in a random direction. So you pick a random direction and start walking. A few minutes later you pick up the scent of any "My gal"-marker - and you are back in business.

Now, listen, "When I snap my fingers you are no longer an over expected IITian"

SNAP!!!

Back reality??? – Great

So an IITian uses only a few simple rules for bringing back gals to his hostel. How many rules are in play when you bring gal to your room? Thousands I guess.

Get up in the morning, have a fag and brush as usual, bathe unusually, make yourself ready, look yourself into the mirror about hundred times……And these are only top-level rules/tasks - each of these break down into smaller and more complicated rules about how we get up in the morning, how we behave with gals, how to compare offers from several of them etc.

Now you can't just live a simple life like any other guy - the gals we deal with and operate in the process is just toooooo complex for that. But you can easily apply Ant Rules to your SF life to make it easier and happening.

Drawback: The only problem is you’ve to think like an ant. That means life with fractions of your possessed brain. Can you live without your gifted brain??? Well all I can say is, returns are high ;)